I have been told June 19, 2008

 

 

I have been told:

 

that my first word is “da-da”; 

 

that when I was a baby/toddler, I knew the sound of my dad’s car when he would return home from work and that I would crawl down the stairs (backwards) calling out loud, ”da-da” and meeting him at the door;

 

and that I used to wear my dad’s shirt as a child while he was away over-seas (in the Navy) just so that I can have his “scent” near me.

 

I guess you can say that I have always been “daddy’s little girl”.  My love for my dad is a reflection of the love and affection that he has given to me through the years. 

 

Yes, we had our difficult times and our share of misunderstandings, but we still love each other very much.

 

I love the fact that his face lights up with the thought of his children and grandchildren 

visiting and/or calling him.

 

My dad continues to show his love each time he visits my girl’s grave site and gives them flesh flowers weekly. I know that he would have loved and adored my children as much as me, maybe more. 

 

I will always be grateful to my dad, for his time and unconditional love.

 

 

This posting is a continuation of the previous post and was originally published and sent by email on June 13, 2008.

Honoring Dads June 19, 2008

Last week, I sent out a Father’s Day email and received an overwhelming positive response to my tribute to my dad and my husband.  Since some of you did not receive this email message, I am posting a copy of it on my blog (as requested by many). 

So here is it:

I wish to say Happy Father’s Day to all dads, papas, padres, appas and like-dads (in all languages) who find ways to bond with a child.  From changing diapers, bathing, and dressing to cuddling, playing games and participating in daily routines like reading bed time stories.  I appreciate my dad for everything that he has sacrificed and done for both me and my younger brother.  I am grateful that he is healthy and well so that we can still have our bonding time. 

 

I would also like to honor my husband, Paul.  Although our children are not here with us, I know deep in my heart that he would have been a great daddy to Alyssa, Kaitlyn and Shaun.  I say this not because I think he is a great man and a beautiful person, but because he has shown great love during the little time we had with them.  I shall share just one example: Kaitlyn’s first bath.

 

We were in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) when Kaitlyn received her first bath.  It was shortly after her heart had stopped beating and the nurse turned off all her monitors.  Our baby girl had spent 23 days in the NICU and did not get to go home with us. I cried not because of grief to have lost another child, but rather, for joy to watch my husband remove the lines, tapes and tubings out from our daughter and started giving her a ”bath” with a tiny cloth.  He was talking gently to her at the same time. I do not remember what he said exactly, but I will always vividly remember how peaceful they both looked. 

 

From that moment on, I am forever and deeply moved when I see a father bond with a child (no matter how small the act).  ”In this life, we cannot always do great things.  But we can do small things with great love.” -Mother Teresa (1910-1997).  Here’s to all dads and like-dads (near and far) who do small things with great love! 

 

 

Reflection May 14, 2008

It has been two weeks now since my major abdominal surgery and I am grateful that I am recovering slowly and healing quite well.  I am also so grateful that the cyst and mass found were both benign and that I do not have cancer.  Although, I am still in a lot of pain and discomfort, I have found refuge in prayer and social therapy with Heritage Makers. 

I am not only taking lots of naps to allow my body and mind to heal, I am also catching up of my email messages and working on some of my pending storybook projects.  In fact, I just published a “Love is…” book for my sister-in-law as well as for my good friend and her daughter.  It is not always easy for me to answer your phone calls at this time, but I will return your call (if you leave a message) as soon as I am able. 

Many thanks to those who had visited me at the hospital and at home.  I love the flowers and the get-well cards!  While I am thankful that I am overall healthy in spite of my many surgeries, I am saddened to hear the news that our Heritage Makers President, Doug Cloward is recently diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma.   He is truly a faith-filled and inspiring man!  Even while at the hospital, he called in to be our surprise guest speaker at our California Regional Conference and gave the entire audience his typical motivational message (via Chris Lee, our CEO’s cell/speaker phone).  My heart and prayers to Doug and the entire Cloward family during this difficult time of diagnosis and treatment. 

I will end this post with a reflection and quote from Doug’s blog:  “If all of this resolves itself and I find myself with more time, I will be a better friend, a more compassionate father and husband, and more committed servant. And I may feel a little foolish for what might otherwise appear to be my own epitaph, but I find the need for expression and healing purposeful. I hope my words ring true and remind you that you are remembered and loved.” – Doug Cloward